Halle Berry has a baby by Gabriel Aubrey, a white man. Since he released his statement to the media and the black community was a buzz. The media have applauded her pregnancy because she wanted a baby for some time. However, many in the black community have focused on the race of the "Baby Daddy". Many have said that the "White Boy" room has been towed, because the men had hurt many blacks.
While Hall was unlucky in love with men, blacksit need not necessarily follow that it is easy to Gabriel because he is white. As a black woman who has dated outside my race. I would like to offer a different perspective.
Man Islam
One of the greatest lessons in life is to love openly, where they are. A relationship with a white man taught me to know that five years ago I had an absolute rule that I only dated men blacks. I did not have the rule of respect for my heritage. Rather, I had the rule because I do not feel likeIf I have no choice.
If this article could speak my dialect, and make my voice would be difficult to identify my race. All my life I have integrated into environments that were sometimes challenging. In junior high, I was ridiculed by the students black / drama "White." During the prank was concluded from the high school, I never felt like I deserve true enough "street cred". So I was very careful with my decisions.
In my eyes from a white boy wouldcalled my "Blackness" into question again. So, I refused to do it. I also judged the Black guys by the same standard. I thought that those who dated interracially were "less Black". I also interpreted their decision as a rejection of me and all other Black girls.
Right after college, I developed a friendship with a White co-worker. We were attracted to one another and enjoyed each other's company. However, instead of dating him, I made sure that we remained "just friends" because I was still being influenced by the voices of the past.
Admittedly, Halle Berry's story is uniquely her own. I do not know her. However, I do know that she is bi-racial, the product of a union of a Black man and a White woman. Her childhood was tumultuous, in large part because of the chaos that her father's presence (and frequently absence) brought to her life.
Her life has been filled with great opportunity and success, but she has been unlucky in love. She dated a famous Black actor (rumored to have the initials W.S.) who beat her and caused her to lose her hearing in one ear. She married David Justice, an athlete whom she met through publicists. He cheated on her with prostitutes. She married Eric Benet, a struggling singer who was a sex addict. Because of her rather public relationship failings, many in the Black community have concluded that she is with Gabriel because she ran out of patience with "the brothers". I think that view is overly simplistic.
I imagine that like me, Halle felt pressured to prove that she was "Black enough". Being bi-racial, her need to prove her "Blackness" would have been even greater. Since she has a White mother, she may have feared that having a White boyfriend might have been perceived as the ultimate denial of her Black side.
Based on her interviews, it appears that she has now opened herself up to true love.
A few years ago, a White man challenged me. He expressed an interest in dating me. I responded by feigning ignorance about his attraction to me and trying to fix him up with a nice White girl. Still, he persisted. Finally I told him, "I'm sorry, but I don't date White men". He responded rather sheepishly, "I'm sorry, but I can't do anything about my color." His response made my rejection of his advances seem so silly and racist. I was attracted to him. I was also interested in getting to know him better. However, I was refusing to date him because I was still haunted by the voices. At that moment, I decided to silence the voices once and for all.
Because I am completely incapable of doing anything halfway, I went from not dating white men to passionately kissing one while standing in a restaurant parking lot in a matter of twenty-four hours. We remained involved for the better part of two years.
That relationship changed my life--not because he was White, but because it was the first time in my life that I allowed myself to be completely authentic. I was involved with him because I admired him, respected him, and was attracted to him. We were able to connect on a very primal and spiritual level. It was real. Before then, I had been involved in many relationships simply because I thought they were "appropriate".
This is not an article advocating interracial relationships. Everyone has to live their own journey. However, this is an article advocating love and authenticity.
My interracial relationship taught me to be open to love wherever I might find it. That was a very powerful and necessary lesson for me to learn. It has enriched the quality of all of my subsequent relationships, all which have been with Black men.
I hope that Halle Berry has finally found someone with whom to share her life, someone who appreciates her and cherishes her. I pray that she is with Gabriel, because she allowed herself to be open to love, and that she found it with him. That is really the only thing that matters.
Love Without Apology - Halle Berry's Relationship With Gabriel Aubrey
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